Eye of the Liger

You say "Tomato"... I say "Tomato Tomato Tomato Tomato Tomato"

2009-10-25T15:39:00.005-05:00

One day a young man named Jason was trouncing about and ventured upon old farmer Craig's tomato patch. Old man Craig was notorious for hurling rotten tomatoes and insults at anyone caught trespassing on his property. Therefore Jason tiptoed cautiously about the tomato vines. Alas, Jason's cautiousness was ineffective against the scent-smelling guard dog extrordinaire Tucker. Tucker galloped gallantly toward the now pants-pooping Jason. With a ripe tomato in his palms, he was now caught red-handed.

Much to his surprise, Jason was not assaulted verbally or vegetably, but he was subjected to a punishment far, far worse than anything his large grotesquely intellectual brain could have fathomed! Old man Craig instead enslaved Jason as his personal slave/chef/sexy-sex-toy, and the worst part was Craig force-fed Jason his

own terrible cooking creation.

The cooking creation was craftilly concocted carefully, considering creepy craig was caressing his cortex. Jason had only a few meager ingredients, most of which were tomatoes from the tomato patch. He was forced to create a five-star meal out of little more than tomatoes, his beautiful creativity developed this wonderful meal.

Recipe:

1 Tomato

1 Tomato (slightly larger)

1 Tomato (slightly larger yet)

1 Tomato (even larger)

1 Tomato (quite large)

Cheese (shredded)

Cheese (cottaged)

Cream (soured)

Bacon (fried)

Instructions: Cook Tomato. Cover with something. Stuff it in another tomato. Repeat 4 times. Take all the tomato guts and grind them up and cook them into a delicious sauce. Pour Sauce over the stuffed Tomatoes.

Note: Each tomato must be cooked in a unique way.

Instructions

Ingredients (enough for 3 stuffed tomatoes)

Microwaving

Boiling

Grilling

Frying

Baking

Guts

Sauce

Finished

Old man Craig loved the meal, and granted Jason his freedom. Unfortunately, Jason was forced to eat 3 bites of the meal and became violently ill. He will probably never eat a tomato ever again... because he died.

2009-05-04T07:59:00.002-05:00

Twas a dark and eerie night in Erie, Illinois. Craig and Jay were having a grand time reuniting for one night, as Jay travelled cross-country via various interstates for his employer, Interstates. Jay had picked a crazed hitch-hiker, who was missing a tooth and claiming to be Jay's father, Eric.

It was difficult to hear anything other than the sound of the movie "Chicken Run", and the maniacal cackling of 'Eric' after every line of the movie. But as Craig and Jay were discussing something really clever and intelligent, and environmentally beneficial, they heard something. It was quite quiet at first, but it was definitely there. They looked at the miniature forest that Craig planted on his pool table, and they saw a small journeyman emerge from the right corner pocket. Quietly, they observed him. Luckily Jay had a video camera handy.

This is what they observed.

2009-04-30T15:46:00.002-05:00

Blogged Up

2009-02-15T20:13:00.001-06:00

It has been nearly nine months since we last blogged together. If you can recall correctly, or retain usage of your scrolling finger, you will remember that our last blog together had a sexual under/overtone. It was a very fertile evening, one that we shall not soon forget. After spellchecking one another and admiring each other’s grammar in great detail, we soon departed ways. Little did we know, a little fetal concept was conceived deep in the womb of our brains. During the 9 month gestation period that followed, our brains grew in terrible proportions with the blognancy. We had sudden cravings for knowledge of weird combinations; we devoured poetry dipped in differential equations, philosophical linear systems, and agricultural economics smothered in the droppings of hyper psychologists. In the mornings we awoke with terrible sickness, spewing garbage ideas such as Racial Profiles, Lost Translations, Garden Woes, Great F-ing Weekends, and Danis. Our apologies to those who got spewed on. After the first trimester, our typing fingers began to swell with anticipation of the milky ideas to come. Soon after, we were feeling the ideas kick around in each others’ heads. We began to think up headings for this blog, but we wanted the theme to be a surprise, so we had to come up with two titles.

Two nights ago we peed our pants with excitement, and we knew that the little wonder was on its way. We rushed to the computer lab quick as the dickens! “It’s gonna be great, that’s it, breathe, breathe!” we cried to each other. The computer was slow in starting up. We thought about overclocking the computer to ease the process, but then realized we wanted to experience the natural miracle of our blog. It was a painful, yet joyous experience.

We asked the webmaster what theme it was, and he said, “it’s a beautiful five paragraph, 28 sentence long baby boy!” We didn’t really know what he was talking about, but we cried with joy at the sight of our newborn blog. Once we were done typing, we spanked the post button at the bottom of the page, and the blog cried out into cyberspace. We were ready to disconnect the ethernet cord!

We wrapped it in swaddling navy-green and orange eye of the liger background, and held it on our monitor for a few moments. We milked the blogging concept for all it was worth, long into the night. It was quite draining. In the morning, we were allowed to take it back to our homepage. It shit all over other bloggers pages, desperate for attention.

We plan to nurture this blog and raise it properly to someday make a real domain name for himself and find his place in the world (wide web).

Racial Profile

2008-10-02T15:12:00.006-05:00

This year I raced in two races against other racers of many different races in an attempt to erase my unhealthy habits, and raze my bad attitude toward racing. For some reason, racing in the races was raising my spirits. 1st place wasn’t part of my race, I was just hoping it wouldn’t be the case that my lace would make me fall on my face, and wishing my pace in the chase had some haste, that would be my saving grace. I wish Racin' Jason the stucco Mason was Racin' with me when i was Racin'

The first race was an adventure triathlon. 2 mi canoe, 7 mi mountain bike, 2 mi run/climb. I did this race with a friend from work, we canoed together and did the rest seperately.

Mountain biking was a lot more exhausting than I realized, and alot more fun. I was getting passed quite a bit while mountain biking, I got passed by this one really fit man. His calf muscles were esquisite, i noticed as he zoomed past me. We had to do two laps on this mountain biking island in the mississippi (seriously: there used to be a factory or something on the island, but now it is entirely devoted to mountain biking and hiking.) Anyways, on the beginning of the second lap, amazing-calf-man started to leave the island, and some officials stopped him and turned him around and made him do his second lap. Meanwhile, I zipped right by him and regained my dominance over him. So he passed me again like 2 minutes later, acting like it was no big deal. I was tempted to shove my comparitavely scrawny leg right into his spokes and end his race. I didnt. But, on the ride back to the transition area, I saw him walking his bike back. I think it was because he knew he couldnt beat me, and he was too exhausted from trying to pass me, and also he had a flat tire. So, I dominated him.

So, i transitioned, and began the run, on my now jello-esque legs. The run would not have been too bad if it didnt have the biggest, steepest freakin' hill in Illinois. The hill was really hard, but kind of neat, because you got off the road and it was like you were hiking for a bit.

Here are some pictures.

I am either signalling that I am #1, or checking the wind for some reason.

I thought we had to start paddling from land

It was too difficult on land, so we just carried it to the water

much easier!

Biking

Me, and the thousands of cheering fans

I also did a marathon with some friends from work. We were a 5-man relay team. Everyone did about 5 or 6 miles of the marathon, except me, I chose to do the 3.2 mile leg of the race, which, in my opinion, is the most difficult, but no one else agreed with me.

It took us a while to decide on a team name. We were torn between a few: Flat-arch-enemies, The Thigh Masters, The Golden Calves, Stridin' Dirty, Victorious Secret, and The PaceMakers.

We are all focused before the race, except me, I was looking at a squirrel.

Stridin' Dirty

Butt Shot

Lost in Translation

2008-09-18T13:54:00.003-05:00

Greetings,
It has been many moons since we have posted on this blog. Apologies are in order. Life updates include: Jason has another roomate now, and his name is Andrew Cairns and he is wonderful; Craig has a motorcycle permit and it is awesome; and Jason still has Craig's cribbage board from 3 months ago, but Craig is journeying to Sioux Center today in order to steal it back from Jason while Jason is in Oregon for a wedding.

I ran this blogposting through 'Google Translate' a few times. It went English>Arabic>Dutch>Bulgarian>Japanese>Swedish>English. This is how it turned out after the numerous translations.

Regards,
There are many new things for us on this blog. My apology is in order. Life update: JEISONPATONA in another room, and his name is Andrew Cairns and beautiful, Craig and motorcycles can be frightening and Jason Craig, who is still three months cribbage Council, Craig, I travel back to pilfer Sioux Center, is JEISONJEISON, Oregon , The State's wedding.

Garden Woe

2008-07-17T12:11:00.003-05:00

The garden has been flourishing as of late. My radishes came in a few weeks ago, unfortunately i harvested them too late, and they were a bit woody. The cilantro was great, but now is past its prime, which is unfortunate, because i wanted to use it in the mass quantities of salsa that i plan to make once the tomatoes mature a little more. Potatoes were doing good until a recent onslaught of Japanese beatles scourged their leaves.
I harvested quite a few peas on monday, along with 2 zucchinis. Tuesday I got 5 more Zucchini.
I feel a little uncomfortable gardening, however, because I see all the lovely offspring of these plants, and as they are developing I come sneaking in and harvest them. A gardener is no different than a health conscious child abducter. The parent plants pump all their life into their young offspring and just when the veggies pass the cute stage, but before they rebel, shrivel up, go bad and are a dissapointment to their parents, i come in and snatch them up, cover them in oil and throw them on a hot grill.
I think plant parents kind of expect that some day their offspring will 'leave'.

What a great ‘F’-ing weekend.

2008-06-13T22:46:00.001-05:00

The past F-ing weekend was wonderful, I fully enjoyed Friday, Flag Day, and Fathers Day.

Friday – I had the day off work, so I slept in. Woke up, made some breakfast, cleaned the dishes and the rest of the house, and fixed the screen door.
Later, Marcel and I were having some issues with each other, so we went to the driving range and hit some golf balls to take out our aggression. We would envision the balls were actually the balls of the other person, which made it kind of gross to ‘tee up’, but really satisfying to smash with a golf club. We would yell at the balls as we hit them, things like, ‘why don’t you pick up your dirty socks!’, or ‘Why do I always have to feed the dog’, or ‘I wish you were a better roommate’, or ‘I wish you wouldn’t sneak into my room at night while I am sleeping, and pee in my laundry basket, and then dump the urine soaked laundry all over me!’. It was nice to get those things off our chest.
After that we played some church league softball. We had to use this extra soft softball, so the men wouldn’t hit home runs as often. Just as everyone started complaining about not being able to hit the ball very far, I came up to bat. Bases loaded, two outs. Someone on the other team yelled to the right-fielder, ‘move back’, which I thought was a complement to my hitting skills, but then I thought that they were making fun of me, cuz I hadn’t hit it very far all night, so that person was really in my head now. Just as the ball is lobbed at me, I forget what everyone is saying, and smash an inside-the-park Grand Slam over the outfielders head. Also, I had a skinned knee at the time, so it was extra impressive.

Flag Day – I started the day by paying homage to the US flag, thinking about it, drawing pictures of it, waving it, etc. Then I thought maybe this day is about all flags. So I thought about all the flags of the world, how colorful they are, how some are different shapes and sizes, I drew pictures of some of them, and I made a plain white flag that represents all the flags of the universe, even the ones that I don’t know what they look like, and I said a pledge to this flag.
“I pledge allegiance to all the flags,
Of the entire history of the universe,
One flag represents them all,
It is white, rectangular, and made from a pillow-case for all”

Father’s Day – This Father’s day I didn’t get anything for my father, I just kept putting it off until it was too late, and then I was too embarrassed/forgetful to even tell him happy Father’s Day. It was going terribly. I went home and was going to call my dad and pathetically tell him happy Father’s Day over the phone, but all of a sudden I realized that Father’s Day is next weekend!! So is Flag Day! So is Friday!

This is great news, now I can relive all my great moments from last weekend, like hitting a grand slam, and celebrating flags in all their glory, and this time, I will be prepared for Father’s Day. This is going to be just like the movie ‘Groundhog Day’ featuring Bill Murray, except instead it will be called “The same F-ing weekend”, and instead of Bill Murray, it will be me, and instead of the groundhog it will be Marcel.

this is gonna be a great F-ing weekend!!!

Dani

2008-05-28T21:05:00.002-05:00

I made this fractal as a tribute to my gf Dani

It's Bloggin Time

2008-05-27T22:10:00.002-05:00

Oooooohhhhh. Now. Tonight we’re gonna make blog. And you know how I know? Because it’s Sunday. And Sunday night is the night that we usually make blog. Friday night is my turn to cook. Saturrday night we go and visit our mothers. But Sunday night we make our sweet weekly blog entry. It’s when everything is just right. There’s nothing good on TV. We haven’t had our after work social sports team practice so we’re not too tired.

Ohhh. It’s all on. You lean in and whisper something bloggy in my ear like:

“I might go to bed now, I’ve got work in the morning”

I know what you’re trying to say Craig. You’re trying to say, oh yeah… it’s bloggin time.

It’s bloggin time.

It’s bloggin. It’s bloggin time!

I know what you’re tryin to say you’re trying to say it’s time for bloggin it’s bloggin time… oh!

It’s bloggin, it’s bloggin time!

Oh. Oh yeah.

Then we’re in the computer lab. Brushin the keyboard with our fingers. It’s all part of the prepost. I love preposting.

Then you sort out the email recycle bin. That’s not part of the prepost process, but it’s also very important.

Next thing you know we’re on the blogger site. You’re using that stupid old username you haven’t changed in six years that you made in computer class. You know the one, blogger. With the curry stain.

I type in our password very very cluuuummmmsily typing sensuously across the keys. Now I’m logged in, and I’m about to create a new post. And you know when I’m about to create a new post what time it is.

It’s bloggin. It’s bloggin time!

You know when I’m about to create a new post it’s time for bloggin that’s why they call them bloggin posts.

It’s bloggin, it’s bloggin time!

Ohhh oh oh eee yeah ee yeah ah ah.

Making blog. Making blog for… making blog for two….

Making blog for two minutes.

When it’s with us, blog readers, you only need two minutes because we’re soooo intense.

You comment something bloggy like,

“Is that it?”

We know what you’re tryin to say, blog readers, you’re tryin to say

“Ohhhhh yeah, that’s it.”

Then you tell us you want some more, well uh… we’re not surprised.

But we’re quite sleepy.

Mmmmm.

It’s bloggin, it’s bloggin time!

Bloggin hours are over, baby!

It’s bloggin, it’s bloggin time!

Oooohhh oohh ooh oh oh yeah yeaaahhhahah

Oh oh ooohhhh oh yeah.

Nate Nate Nate Nate

2008-05-05T22:06:00.002-05:00

I didn't make a paint but I printed one, it's 187" long (15'-7" or 4.75 m) and I mounted it down my whole hallway and around into the living area:

Can anyone tell if there are multiple Nate clones or if he just got in four camera shots?

Turtle Time!

2008-05-02T15:46:00.003-05:00

I made a paint of some turtles.

Can anyone tell if these turtles are different sizes, or are they all exactly the same size but just different distances away from you???

Not for the Faint of Attention

2008-04-27T11:19:00.000-05:00

The time has come for our yearly, annual, twelve-monthly, anniversary of our last blogging experience. This is reason to celebrate. This is especially exciting, because this year's annual, fifty-two-weekly, one-Earth-revolution anniversary is happening 5 weeks early!! This revolutionary event only happens once a year!, or in this case, less than a year.

We are celebrating by blogging a post on our blog, which is bogged with past blog posts and passed-by bygone posted blogs. In the past we have been begged by pests to post blogs, based uponst our past bloggings, but beginning to post past blogs proved our proficient blogability, therefore we propose to prepare posting a big bag of blog posts promptly.

We now present a story for our consistent followers who have consistently checked our consistently inconsistent blog. Many people may have lost faith and given up hope on our blogging consistency, but in actuality those people are idiots because we have been working extremely hard on this one flavo(u)rful story. For the last year it has been our life's work. We've literally eaten, and not literally drank and breathed, and literally sweated, and alliteratively a-lived this story - and we've also lost count of the times we've woken up from a deep sleep to cry - "Too Many Peppermints in My Pocket!!!"

It was really convenient that this story actually happened a few weeks ago, because we had been working on it for months and months beforehand, not knowing if it would actually ever happen, or remain fictitious. Now that the story has actually happened it has become much easier to finish writing about, and much more accurate.

"Post Modern Prose Meditation Purporting Mega Pepper Mint Musings in Print"

This story transpired over a three week period during the months of March and April, 2008. What follows is a true account of a true event, truthfully told from a truthful teller. It began at approximately 9:25 one morning with the waking of Jason Wyenberg at the address of 145 1/2 on the corner of 2nd and 2nd (One Intersection NE from the Nexus of the Universe (1st and 1st (Sioux Center’s Center))).

As Jason Wyenberg religiously made his pious pilgrimage to church that fateful morning, he decided to fill his pockets one quarter plus one eighth crammed with delicious sweet peppermints. His excitement grew as he thought it would be nice to have a few to share with people in his pew so that they could chew on something new in lieu of Herm Van Nieu speaking words that were true about a Jew.

He took his usual spot in the lofty choir loft which he lovfed. A few rare friends were there, and also some who were not his friends, but mostly they were just people who he called his friends but he really didn’t know the truth of whether they were official friends or not and if they would go on a canoeing trip with him if he asked them to go on a canoeing trip with him. He thought he would try to make them into his friends by offering them some friendship (pepper) mints. Jason thought of his friend Craig whose dad had once given a speech (parent-thesis) on winning friends with mints. Jason had been losing a lot of friends from using too many script references, “quotes,” from children’s movies, and he thought this might just be a way to win a few back.

As Pasteurized Herm began his sermon that day, Jason decided to pull out the magical friend making mints. He held out his hand to the person next to him, and dropped them in the outstretched collection-basketesque palm, tithing 100% of the peppermints in a selfless act of compassion. He was fully expecting the proverbial plate to return with at least one remaining mint, even if it was the scrawniest of the bunch, like Chris W. – too obvious, C. Wyenberg – at a scrawny convention. The proverbial plate returned with a zero or fewer, not appositive, amount. Exactly everyone who was Jason adjacent received a mint, except Jason.

That night Jason lay in bed in a deep sweat, unable to fall into the depths of slumber as he relived that horrible moment of realization that he would not get to suck on a peppermint. When he had given those peppermints to his potential friends, he didn’t realize that friendship would actually cost him to suffer through a church service with no mints in his mouth. Maybe he just wasn’t cut out for friendship if it meant he had to say “No mints for me!”

Craig and Jason filled out their final four pools [brackets] that week.

Nevertheless, the next Sunday Jason decided to brave the tempest inside by reattempting to re-tempt his soon to be non-temp friends with mints. This time he’d cool his temperament with a shot of distemper-mint.

As Pastor Herman began servin’ the sermon to the vermin who were neither german nor mer-men and were squirmin’ in their firm-en chairs, some who may or may not have been named Sherman, Jason reached into his pocket which was three-quarters crammed with minty treats. This time Jason selflessly tithed 200% so that HE could receive some mints for himself. Alas, it was not to be. Exactly everyone who was Jason adjacent received a mint, except Jason.

The following week Jason’s dreams were more hyperbole-er than any dream had ever been in the known/unknown history and future of the universe. His dreams of friends and mints coexisting had been severed/slashed by little mint men dancing across minty mint pews and stealing his delicious mint sweets.

During the week the dash-ing Craig and Jason fought some really large sharks with especially large high-fins for a week-long period.

On the third Sunday Jason decided to cram his pockets to a nearly over crammed crampacity. He arrived at church that morning with his pocket bulging like Chris’ pregnant-esque gut that protrudes from his scrawny figure mentioned above.

“Finally, I shall not have to say No Mints for Me!” Jason thought. He took his seat in the usual choir loft that he lovfed, with two of his friends, Betsy and Cherylyn. However, Betsy insisted that they sit down in the regular chairs. Soon, however, Betsy realized that she was in the nursery that day, and left Jason and Cherylyn on their own. No longer in the choir loft, they were left alone. That was when Jason remembered the bulging bunch of mints in his crammed-full to crampacity pocket. (at this point of blogging, we have started drinking alcohol flavor(u)red water, thus our future utterances are BUI (blogging under the influence)). He gently decrammed his cramhole relinquishing the minty treasures found within to his nearby peer(s). Jason was surprised/very surprised, to find only one ‘friend’ sitting Jason adjacent. As he dumped an entire cramload of peppermints into Cherylyn’s hands, he realized there was a cramsworth minus one in a cramsworth chance of getting a mint this time!!!! ExciteMENT mounted as he felt he was meant to meet his mouth with these mints. Cherylyn took one mint out of the crampile and handed the rest back to Jason’s hand which was quivering with excitement. Exactly everyone who was Jason adjacent received a mint, including that one special person adjacent Jason adjacent, which was Jason.

As the sweet delicious goodness touched Jason’s lips, he finally realized that he could either have many, many friends adjacent Jason eating mints while he ate no mints, or he could have one or fewer friends adjacent Jason while he had many mints, but he could not have both.

The moral of the story is this: “Some friendships were never mint to be.”

Adulthood Achieved!!!

2007-05-29T23:18:00.000-05:00

Yes, the time has come at last. Time brings great change, and the greatest change seems to come to the greatest of the great. Some are born to greatness, others achieve greatness, some have greatness thrust upon them, and a select two have all of the above. This is an account of those two and the great change that has overcome them.

This greatness can be best represented by the game of kickball. In this example, craig and jason are represented by the ball. While the playing field is life, and the players of the game are the people in our lives, and also some pets. All of the people in our lives are entirely focused on us, the ball, and care about little else. The pitcher, our parents, throws us out of their hands and into a path of confusion and disaray. This path from the pitcher to the kicker is that of college life. Suddenly, graduation day comes, and we are kicked skyward from the confines of Dordt college and sail into the upper troposphere of greatness. Some balls fly high, but no balls shall ever soar quite as high or elegantly as the balls of Craig and Jason For instance, the typical air time for a kickball is around4 or 5 seconds. We have been in the air for over a week and still have not reached our peak. We have travelled a combined distance of over 1000 miles, the equivalent of more than 12,000 home runs!!!

Soon we shall land in the cloud city and meet our old foe, Darth Vader, who awaits our arrival. His deathly image represents old demons that keep rearing their ugly heads in our lives. More accurately, he represents Chris, both metaphorically and literally, because he has an ugly head. The breathing apparatus emits an annoying “hoo… per…. hoo…per…” sound, which is chris’ binary language of communication with his virtual friends. Luckily R2D2, C-3PO, chewy and the whole gang are along for the ride, and don’t forget our good ol’ buddy Lando Calrisien!
So anyways, the point here is that Craig and Jay have left each other and Dordt to pursue adventures so wild and fantastic that they must balance their lives with the appearance of simplistic living, on the farm and in the office. Who knows what happens outside of the hours of 8-5 for these young amigos? We can only guess what dreams come to fruition such that their minds must slow to the daily grind for such long periods of time to, as one might assume, keep their extraordinary lives in balance.

Perhaps our questions will be answered after musing upon the epic e-pic de-pic-ting epic-ness above.

The Interstates Office

2007-02-26T17:58:00.000-06:00

With a few new additions to the workplace, the Interstates office environment has become more exciting than ever before. Metrics of productivity are rejuvinated in response to the new Dordt order arising within the intern ranks and their ever-wisened master, full-time electrical engineer extra-extra-readallaboutit-ordinaire, Jason B. Wyenberg.

Paper Mario has gained complete control of our lives!!

2007-02-11T20:17:00.000-06:00

Funeral Crashing

2007-02-07T20:43:00.000-06:00

If any of you have been keeping up with our latest and greatest postings, you may have read about our recent adventures down in the fun-loving country of the Dominican Republic. You may have read about our elaborate travel routes, our spelunking delights in crocodile-infested caverns, or our slip-sliding rolliepollie frolics through the ocean waves. If you followed closely, you would have experienced second hand the Dominican dance moves of Ezekiel the great, the self-proclaimed owner of the D.R. You may have even succumbed to the numbing cuteness of Adelenia and thereafter been unable to appreciate life in the same way without her. However, all of these stories are nothing to compare with the incredible tale I am about to unravel before you. Though it was woven maybe a month past and many leagues distant, it is engraved upon my memory like the mole on Chris' face that everyone sees but noone has the heart to tell him about lest he kill himself in a rage of self-pity. Anyways, here is how it went.

One day, as we were touring another one of the local towns, we noticed quite a few sad people entering and exiting a small community hall. We asked our leader, Yaqie, what was going on, and he told us that there was a funeral underway. We politely replied, "oh!", and were about to move on, when Yaqie did something strange. He motioned us to come in to the community hall!

So apparently it's a bit different over there with some things, and funerals are one of those things. The community is invited to come to the funeral, and so we were permitted to walk in. Then, we walked past the open casket! What a strange feeling when you don't even know anyone there...

OK so it wasn't the most amazing story ever, but I hope it was kind of interesting. I think being a working man has made me a bit of a dull storyteller, so this is my attempt to get back into it. I hope you enjoyed it nevertheless.

Until next time,

keep fit and have fun

If our elegant, eloquant descriptions were not a descriptive enough description, these pics will help.

2007-01-23T22:31:00.000-06:00

Camarielle, our cute little amigo

Jay trying to look cool in front of the ladies

The lovely beach and mighty ocean

Angel, aka the Peacemaker, as he enlightens us with delightful tidbits of historical information, and then quizzes us with continued dissapointment in our incorrect answers

Your loyal bloggers, shortly after being the first to set foot on dominican soil.

And some people in the background...........our beloved group members, lynae and steve!!

In the foreground, Craig displays his masculine back to be quite an astounding parrallel to the mighty waterfall in the background.
This was/is the greatest waterfall and swimming hole that existed/exists, but the fact that we couldnt jump from the very top was/is extremely sucky/shitty.

One of billions of the cute disgusting dogs adorning many a gutter. He is resting up for a big day of garbage eating.

Keep on bloggin' in the free world

2007-01-16T15:25:00.000-06:00

We finally returned to the land of the free and the home of the brave.....That's right.....Puerto Rico. Puerto Rico may have only been a small layover in our journey homeward, but it was quite an exquisite experience. It is a port rich in baggage claim carrousels, nasty customs agents, and terrible airport food. Being a protecterate of the U.S., it was the location of our initial step onto American ground, and we quickly encountered a barage of the undesirable attributes associated alongside America.

The journey progressed to Dallas/Ft. Worth, followed by Omaha, and ultimately the cozy confines Sioux Center, Iowa. Dordt College greeted us warmly with 5 inches of snow, with which the construction of the greatest snow fort of this era is already underway.

Now that our journey has ended, the stories of said journey can now begin to grow and flourish into the tall tales of heroism that you all yearn to read about. Upon Jason's return from Winnipeg we shall collectively imbellish the details of our adventures without restraint, and present them to our readers in a delightful manner. These tales will no doubt give hope to the hopeless, and renew everyone's faith in humanity and airports.

Adelania: If you do not agree this is the cutest girl in all of humanity, then I have pity for you and your existence.

Chi Chi Bang Bang: Rise of the Silver Tooth

2007-01-11T18:54:00.000-06:00

In all of our adventures mentioned thus far it shames us that we have neglected to mention the most influential character of all. One man has stood above the rest in his fine rubber boots, with his beloved shovel in hand and his gleaming tooth. His name is only uttered here with the utmost respect as we bravely attempt a description of such an elucid figure. Finding fantastic fortune figuratively fixated from far, fervently forboding feverish fright follows four fabulous flavours for freakin felebration:

first, flippent finagling;
following, flamboyant frases;
following further, fuerteness ("strength" en espanol)
fourth for final, fiscal fiduciariness

In other words, he is a shining beacon for concrete mixers across the universe(s). He has the innate ability to know exactly when to yell at someone to stop doing something, which some may possess - but few share the quality of also being able to yell at someone to start doing something exactly whence he desires it to be so.

His friends call him Chi-cho. We call him:

Chi Chi, lord of the concrete.

Also, we have never seen him dance, but assume that he is amazing at it.

And also worth mentioning is the fact that we just attended a Dominican Dance party in which Ezekiel broke out the sweetest moves north of the equator and south of the mason dixon line.

Uno, Dos, Tres, Cuatro, Cinco, Cinco, Blog

2007-01-07T10:37:00.000-06:00

Greetings to our brothers from other mothers and sisters from other misters! This is our first and greatest blog of the new year, and as such we hope to entertain you in ways never before imagined by your simple minds.

A lot has happened since we wrote to you last. We now find ourselves in the apartment of our new friend Ezekiel. We recently found out that Ezekiel is the owner of the Dominican Republic, so it is a great honour for us to have befriended him. We ascertained this knowledge when Ezekiel asked us, "Do you like my country?" We responded with many noddings of the head and "si si senor"s. His dwelling is a glorious place, littered with instruments for making praises to God and pictures of a girl from Michigan, Sherri Dick's sister. No, Ezekiel is not a predatory internet slimeball: he is in fact her boyfriend! He seems like a very good boyfriend because he is even learning the language of English for her. We have been helping him prepare for the TOEFL exam by making up English words that we think might add a creative twist to his test responses that the graders might find enjoyable and perhaps amusing! With our help he will fail the TOEFL exam and have very poor english. We do this in the hope of furthering his language of love, much like a blind person's other senses are heightened with the loss of sight.

Stupefaction overcame yesterday us in the mighty waters of the Caribbean sea as we swam similarily to slippery sea lions in a stormy sea of salty serpentine saline solution. We found ourselves in the shoes of WWII soldiers storming the beach of Normandy, although our adversary was slightly different than crazed Nazis: it was in fact a constant barrage of waves breaking upon the sandy shore trying to limit our pursuit of opportune ocean oxperience. The fun we sought in the ocean was the equivalent of kicking Hitler in the balls with steel toed flip flops. However, rather than attempting to destroy the enemy, we body surfed upon the german soldiers with gleeful joy and interspersed smidgeons of fear. Salt bullets shot into our noses, ears, and souls, penetrating deep and affecting us long after as streams of salty snot water gushed from our noses for the rest of the day much like flashbacks coming to an old veteran as he plays bingo with his buddies and talks about the undisciplined youth of today.

In approximately one hour we leave to pursue spelunking delights in the caves of Santo Domingo. Our minds constantly drift to these caves of wonder as we sit here typing this message. Expectations are as high as the top of Marcel's head. We will likely venture through a forest of stalactites and stalagmites as dense as Andrew Cairn's beard. There will no doubt be sights as glorious and beautiful as the chest of Andrew Kuipers, gleaming after a fresh shower. We will traverse the pathways as smoothly as David Prins on a packed hockey rink. Hopefully we will avoid any ugly cave creatures as disgusting as Chris Wyenberg's complexion and physique.

So now we must leave you, dear friends, as the time for adventure draws near again. Until we write again, we wish you all the best in your boring homesteads as we pursue the wonders you only find in the wildest of opium-induced dreams.

Hasta Luego,

Craiger and Jay

The Blaga Continues

2006-12-31T20:50:00.000-06:00

The rest of our group has arrived! And with them comes important information about their travels that allows us to complete our fantastic Paint. Below is the crazy map of all the routes everyone took to get here to the Dominican

All of the flights are in blue, and the other colours are driving routes of our team members.

We also have an entertaining story for your own reading pleasure! Because of all of the plane difficulties along the way, only a small group of us arrived in the Dominican on the first plane from Miami to Santo Domingo. In that group were: Jessi Rieken, Craig Bielema, Jason Wyenberg, Lynae Walburg, and Steven Koning. Craig and I realized during the flight that we would be the first group to reach the island. Therefore we both wanted to be the first off of the plane to say that we beat everyone else.

It was an exciting battle. In the front of the plane, closest to the exit, Jessi was sitting on her own. Unaware of our competition, she had no idea of the value of her position. As we were getting off the plane, I called her over to the back, and asked her something like, "Hey Jessi, what did you fill out for number 4 on this customs declaration sheet?". She fell for it like lemmings off a cliff. Craig and I were in the lead.

We rushed past the passengers moving up the right aisle, but were stopped short at the end by the first class passengers. I doubled back and cut across a row of seats to come up the left aisle with the first classers. I smirked as I slipped past Craig. He boldly cut into the first class line right in front of me, the big jerk! We were both distracted by a beautiful Dominican lady who was barely wearing a denim shirt, but the race continued. We ran down the gangplank and rushed out into the open airport and (after going through customs, blah blah blah) lept forth towards the finish line. Unfortunately, Craig won, but we were both rewarded with a crowd of people cheering us on, reminiscent of a red carpet event, except that most of the people were trying to sell us taxi rides.

The End.

iNosotros Blogamos Juntos Para Uno! - We Blog Together as One!

2006-12-31T18:08:00.000-06:00

Greetings fellow friends, and family, or, as they say down here in the Dominican Republic, Ola! Or, as my faithful hermano informs me it is correctly spelt, Hola! Or, as my faithful hermano informs me it is correctly written, spelled. We write to you from a great distance after a great duration of time. In all likelihood, you have probably already gone blind staring at the computer screen watching for some sort of update (ie. Jeremy Westra), but maybe your computer monitor displays in 1024i brail. Or, as my faithful hermano informs me it is correctly spelled, braille.

Las horas we have spent in the Dominican have been fantastico! After mucho anxiety and time spent in los aeropuertos we have finally arrived, and we have agreed es muy bueno! The pineapple freshness is unparalleled even in hyperbolic freshflavored dimensional space. We have plans to eat our weight three times over in delicious pineapple fruit.

Dogs are a big part of our life here in the Dominican. Though we are yet to touch one, we frequently see them in the streets lying beneath 1983 nissan pickups, that seems to be their shade truck of choice. Once we saw a very fat one, with engorged nipples, we suspect pregnancy, and will investigate further and keep you posted on the future family.

Pigeons have been an unexpected/unwelcomed surprise. Not only are the pigeons greedy for bread, and dirty, but they also have a serious attitude problem. When they arent nesting directly in our pathway basically requesting a swift kick in the tailfeathers, they are flying 2 feet overhead posing the ever frightening threat of fly by pooping. It is obvious that in the Dominican, pigeons have surpassed most other creatures on the evolutionary chain of dominance.

More pictures and blogidad to come soon....hopefully

Wedding photos

2006-08-26T23:31:00.000-05:00

Brad and Sara's Wedding

The happy couple
Sara- my cousin
Brad- my good friend
I went to australia with both of them. we bonded.

Here is a pic of me pushing my way to my third garter of the summer, you can see the look of determination on my face.

And this photo is me with my trophy around my arm........ and some other people too

Jerad and Kerrie's Wedding

Here you can see a very handsome best man towering over his maid of honor counterpart at jerads wedding.

This is a shot of the greatest swing dance duo in the history of time. (actually the guy on the left, is really carrying the duo, his swing dancing abilities are unparalleled!)

Weekend in review

2006-08-25T20:02:00.000-05:00

Craiger:
Whew, its been a while. much has happened lately, My friend jerad came back last week cuz he got married, it was awesome to see him again. I was the best man in his wedding, so I had a lot of stuff to take care of last weekend. First of all, I was in charge of the bachelor party. This was a big deal, honestly i worried about it alot, cuz i wanted everyone to have a good time, but i dont think they did....they had a GREAT time. we (me and jerad and the other guys in his wedding) went to chicago on a thursday. first we went out to eat at dicks last resort, its a restaurant where the waiters treat you like dirt and call you names and throw stuff at you. but when we got there, there was some huge man in camoflage telling us that the place was reserved for a private party for Navy Seals. but somehow we ended up getting in there and once inside we received free beer and an amazing free buffet meal. we ate and drank like $40 worth of food and beer. we mozied on over to whirlyball, this is an awesome sport which is a combination of lacrosse, polo, basketball, and bumper cars if you can imagine that. then we wandered around lakeview area until we miraculously stumbled upon a diamond in the rough.....the one and only country bar in all of chicago. so we set up camp there. also, carolyn and jen met up with us there, and joined us as we drank, danced, and sang our lungs out all night long. i felt a little bad, cuz jerad has a habit of knocking beers out of everyones hands when he is drunk on purpose. every other song there was some guy out there with a mop to clean up after us. the good news is that if there had been a wet Tshirt contest, i totally wouldve won. ANyways, that night was really awesome, it turned out perfectly.
So friday, the next night, we had rehearsal dinner, that was great. then went swimming in a hotel, and hung out for a while. then saturday was the wedding. Seriously, i was more worried than jerad, the groom. i had butterflies all day. i had to give him the rings, and i pretended like i lost em, and i was nervous that it wouldlook stupid, but it went over well. then i had a speech to give at the reception, and i almost threw up i was so nervous. i wrote a good speech, but was terrified i would screw it up. but i pereservered and made itthrough it, and it went awesome. plus i got lots of complements on it later, but they were probably out of pity. after i finally shed my speech anxiety i was ready to relax, catch my fourth garter and enjoy some dancing. only one problem. NO Freaking Garter!!!! you are probably dissapointed in me for not catching it, but you are sadly mistaken, because they didnt even throw one, so i had no chance of catching it, so at least i am still 100%. anyways, i took out my aggresion on the dance floor, if there was a rug on the dance floor, i definitely would have cut it. The nice thing about being the best man is that people actually think you are better than every other man there, just because it says so in the program, because i was asked to dance far more frequently than usual. anyways, the wedding was great, and i had alot of fun, even without a garter grab.
in other news, my dad just spontaneously had the urge to buy a whole case of Leinenkeugels sunset wheat beer (aka fruity pebbles beer) i never even told him how awesome it was, he just got it one day, and i was freaking pumped. this beer tastes exactly like the cereal fruity pebbles. and i know what i must do now, i must purchase some fruity pebbles, and pour this beer over it, and eat it and enjoy it. so i will tell you all how that turns out.
also, i will try and post some wedding photos later. i think i have gotten pretty good at weddings, and the news has spread, cuz my cousin asked me to be an usher in his wedding next year, and today matt olsen called and asked me to be one of his groomsmen!!! i am really excited, cuz marcel is gonna be one too. its gonna be awesome, and fun, and it is really a big honor.

Believe the unbelievable

2006-08-15T19:53:00.000-05:00

Craiger says,
Thats right, it happened. I caught the garter again. this is 3 garters in 3 weddings in 1 summer. thats 100% accuracy. and this one was the most difficult of all, there were like 50 guys there competing, elbowing, jabbing, kicking, and fighting for this particular garter, and i emerged the victor. And i am already being hounded by women, for instance the girl who caught the bouqet, she and i had to pose for a picture with our trophies in hand, and she took the liberty of locking arms with me. That is like 2nd base!.....in a game with a thousand bases. aaand not only that, but later during the dance during the ladies choice song, the maid of honor requested i dance with her, which i gladly accepted, how can you turn down someone if you know for a fact that she is the most honorable maid in the entire room?? but dont worry i am keeping my options open, if i let those girls have there way i would only have one garter left, but i am saving up these three garters, maybe in case i meet that one special person....and she has two identical twin sisters.
i was gonna post pictures, but i think they were deleted from my camera, so i will try and get someone elses photos from the wedding, or more likely just make some paints and post those.

also i think everyone can post now, even those without blogs. thanks for catching that mark.

grilling hissy fit

2006-08-10T23:07:00.000-05:00

Craig says:
I am all worked up about that G. damn firesafety email i recently received from dordt college. It says that we are not allowed to have our own gas grills outside, becasue they are a fire hazard. like what the H am i gonna start on fire outside besides propane and possibly a hot dog. Dordt is going to provide all of east campus with two gas grills for wveryone to use. i use at least one grill every day for atleast 2 hours everyday and if i have to wait in line to use that grill i will be madder than a goose in a snowstorm. do they really think that the grills are no longer a fire hazard if they are owned by dordt instead of me? how does ownership constitute fire safety? and the dordt ones will be more likely to explode, cuz if you dont own it you will likely beat the crap out of it and make it faulty and dangerous, but if you own your own grill you take care of it and love it and make sure it is always safe from fire danger. anyways i think my coblogger jason will be posting a paint about our disdain for this retched grilling sitiation that we are in, i am sure it will be a treat. but i digress.
one more note on my trip to chicago last weekend. two seperate people at seperate locations at seperate times in seperate scenarios asked me for seperate directions to seperate places and i gave them the CORRECT seperate directions and they were correct. i no longer feel like an out-of-towner, i am officially a proverbial in-of-towner. but enough of the past, lets look to the future. the future craig?. yes the future, all the way to the next two days. "in the next two daaaayaays (falsetto voice)"....... sorry if none of that made sense, it was a little tribute to conan obriens year 2000 sketch. anyways in the next two days i have a prewedding party to attend, and then a wedding, and a postwedding party aka reception. i look forward to all these events. this is my big moment to catch my third garter of the year. wish me luck.

I should have worn a facemask

2006-08-08T19:32:00.000-05:00

Last night we had another hockey game and we got shelled 10-1 or something like that. I was playing defense, which is how we kept them from beating us by a lot. The thing that really angered me up, though, was that the referee would not let me play without a chinstrap on my helmet. My helmet is so tight that I leave every game with a migraine, and I swear I have dent marks in the shape of helmet pads all around my skull for the next 6-8 hours. So the point of having a chinstrap is something akin to having a piece of paper handy to hang out your car window in case the brakes fail and you need to slow down before plummeting off a cliff to your imminent death. Ok there's probably a better analogy but I can't think of one. So anyways, I had to get a helmet with a chinstrap, so this guy lends me his helmet, and I wear it, but it has no facemask! Which means my beautiful face could have gotten hit by a puck at a bazillion miles an hour just so that I could have a chinstrap under my neck to keep my helmet from rolling off my dead carcass lying in a bloody mess on the ice, hopefully in the onside position.

In other news, hopefully I will get to go out for tea at my friend's house tonight, he says he makes good tea. Otherwise I will probably go for a bike ride down my usual route, which means I grab an apple, hop on the fold up bike, and bike North to Donwood, then turn left and finish my apple in time to throw it down a drainpipe on the side of the road, but I usually miss and it just stays on the side of the road, and then I am just in time to grab a crabapple from my favourite apple tree that hangs over the sidewalk. There is sometimes a dog in that yard that gets mad that I eat his crabapples, and chases me along as I ride past his fence. I don't feel too bad, because I think he is just selfish and hoarding all of the crabs for himself because there are a ton of them rotting on the ground anyways inside his fence. I have a hunch that he does not even like crabapples at all. But that might be going a bit too far, so I won't let it become anything more than a hunch until I have solid evidence. After that I keep biking and turn right on Rothesay, which is sometimes a cruise night for punks who always like to yell at me as I ride my foldup bike, but I don't care what they say because I like my bike and it does not burn gas. Also it folds up in half for easy storage, which is why I call it the foldup bike. The other day I was on a bike ride with my dad, and he (lucky blighter) got to ride the foldup bike while I road a supercycle. We biked past a family, and the mom stopped my dad and asked him where he got the bike, because she just absolutely loves fold up bikes. She also had a cute daughter with her, but I played it cool and didn't make conversation. Both our parents like foldup bikes, though, so we will probably hook up sometime soon, I am thinking. So anyways, these punks yell at my bike, but I am sure that they are actually jealous deep down inside because most of the time they have to cram like 5 guys into a little civic and compliment their friend on how loud his subs are, even though they can't hear them because their eardrums blew out a few years earlier. I keep biking for a ways North, and then I may turn right on Foxdale and visit a few friends who live in that area, but I think for the most part I just annoy them because they do not have a warning that I am coming and need to get ready for a visitor because they are all girls. I think in a few years time they will appreciate me and wish I kept coming by, if I am not anymore at that time, but I may be, in which case they will probably not have quite appreciated my visits yet but someday they will. So anyways, that area is all populated by friends who are girls, so I do not always prefer to turn right there, but rather keep heading North on Rothesay and go the extra mile to my friend Bryan's house, which is usually kind of pointless because he is either working night shifts or sleeping after working all day, so I probably just bother him too. But, like the girls, one day he will appreciate my visits, I think, and I also like to pet his cat if it is there and hear his doorbell because it can play different tunes. Right now it goes: doooo - doooo - doooo - dooooo........ dooooo - dooooo - doooo - dooooo. I'll keep you updated if it changes.

2006-08-06T22:45:00.000-05:00

Craig says:
hey. have you ever done something super fun and then looked back upon that moment later and say to yourself, "hey, that was super fun". Thats wwhat this weekend was like, i am looking back upon it now and saying to myself "hey, that was super fun". but i think i made a dumb decision by not going to lollapalooza at all. i didnt get myself stoked up for it the week before, so i think that is why i wasnt so excited about going. I really wish i could have seen ryan adams, and iron &wine, and the shins, and the chili peppers, and wilco, and like 30 other bands, but i htink isaid that wrong, cuz i could have seen them, but i decided not to. i think i subconzciously fear spending money and having fun.
anyways, the weekend really was great. i saw carolyn and tricia and jen and my sister alot, and it was so much fun ahnging out with them. tricia and jen are really cool, i am thinkking about asking them to be my friends.
friday i got to see dan de jong and cody ellens, and as if that werent spectacular enough, we even went to a cubs game together. the cubs were up to there usual antics, i.e. being terrible, but even tho they sucked, i loved it. I love the spirit there, its so fun. then we walked like 16 blocks to my sisters apartment and it turned out she wasnt eventhere, so we were locked out. i felt like an idiot.
saturday i saw dena and katie. it was fun, even tho dena fell asleep within 3 minutes of my arrival. but she needs her sleep. i was really happy i got to see her before she left, cuz i have no idea when i will ever see her again. that is a weird thing to think about, what if i never see her again. i hope i do.
well thats about all i did.
oh yeah, i also saw a real live snake. that was sssssssweet.

He should have worn a face mask

2006-08-05T10:05:00.000-05:00

On Wednesday we had another hockey game, and, as usual, we lost, but this time only by 4. If the trend continues, we should tie our next one, because we've gained 4 goals on our opponents each time (0-12, 0-8, 3-7). For some reason I have this hunch that it won't happen, though, because our team really sucks. But anyways, the best part of the game came 4 minutes before the end of the 3rd period when yours truly got kicked off the ice! That's right, my mild-mannered temper suddenly exploded in a flurry of punches and bitings and stick and skate slashings that ended in a bloody mess. Because it seems like we can't get away with making a post without a paint in it, here's a little illustration of what it probably looked like:

Ok, that didn't happen. Actually all that I did was hit a guy in the face with my stick by mistake and give him a bleeding nose, which caused him to say fu@& quite a few times. It was his own fault for not wearing a face mask, but I was the one who had to go to the changeroom for the rest of the game. Oh yeah, and Chris had to sit out my penalty in the box. I think he was a bit pissed about that. All in all, it was a good game, because the most annoying guy on our team didn't show up, and we actually scored some goals. Oh, and there were two girls on the other team, they were pretty good and one of them tripped Chris and gave us a penalty. Another time this cocky son of a b on our team nailed one of them to the ice (this is a no hitting league) which made me feel sorry for her and ask if she was all right because it was right in front of the bench but a few people made fun of me and thought I was just trying to hit on her. That's what I get for trying to be a nice guy.

Today is Saturday, which means only one thing for our family: garage sales. Our weekly tradition includes a few cups of Tim Horton's, at least one embarassing scene as my dad tries to haggle the sale of a t-shirt down to 25 cents from 50 (usually one with a disney character or some sort of a cat on the front), and ends with a carload full of what my parents would call plundered treasure but what I usually consider to be total junk. I hope that my other half of this blogger team is enjoying the Cubs game or concert or whatever he's going to today and is thinking of me because I'm just a little jealous of him.

The weekend

2006-08-02T21:32:00.000-05:00

These are some pictures of how i envision this coming weekend in chicago.

Only the Fat Die Young

2006-07-31T19:47:00.000-05:00

I am working at the farm again now, and i realized how much i missed being outside, even tho its infinity degrees out this week. anyways while working i discovered a discovery. whenever a pig dies it always seems to be the biggest fattest pig in the whole building, and this poses a problem becuase i am the c.e.o. of dragging out the dead pigs. so i concluded that the pigs are doing this on purpose in retaliation. whenever i go into their pens they bite my, so i have to kick them away, so i dont think they like me much for that.....even tho i keep a watchful eye over them and provide them with food and shelter and water and i always always say 'hey pigs' when i see them and sometiems i pet the clean ones. anyways, since they hate me they decide the only way they can get me is to sacrifice one of their own. (i know this may be sad and gross, but its true) so they make my life miserable by sacrificing the largest one of the group so i struggle and labor and toil. plus since i have to go in the pen now they can bite me more, which is their primary goal in life i think, but then i have to kick them away, and they get angry again..... it is an endless cycle. also the kicks are pretty gentle, i dont intend to hurt them.

in other news, i went to a wedding in NW iowa, and i caught the garter!! you all may be thinking whoa, holy smokes, i wonder who the future lucky lady will be. dont be discouraged if you think you dont have very good odds of being that lady tho, because this is only the second garter i have caughtthis summer and i have 2 weddings to go yet!!! so those are some good odds.

Success!!!!

2006-07-27T21:19:00.000-05:00

We did it. Jason and I have officially started our e-lives together via blogging. Fasten your seatbelts blogging community, because you are in for the ride of a lifetime. Anyways, there are few things i just have to say before we kick off our regular blogging.
First. Sorry if it is confusing for two people to have a blog. we aim to please, not confuse.
Second. Your welcome to everyone lucky enough to stumble upon this blog and read its contents. you should be thankful.
Third. Sorry, if you had plans on having the coolest blog, cuz now you dont stand a chance, because this one will destroy it no doubt.
Fourth. Thank you to my coblogger, Jason, without you this would only be half as awesome. (which is still pretty G darn awesome)
Fifth. Sorry, though this is the greatest blog ever and will no doubt become the most popular site on the web, it may be hindered by my extreme modesty, i have always said that I am as modest as I am handsome (extremely).

Two have become one and one has become no longer part of two because the other one became two with another man

2006-07-27T20:33:00.000-05:00

On this day two separate people have lost their blogging virginity to become one super ultimate blogging omnipotence with characteristics of a supreme being wielding a samurai sword and possibly nunchuks. Jason has left that dead weight of a twin brother behind to join forces with Craiger in what could be the most important merger since bread met butter. Nothing can prepare you for the secrets to come, the paints to be unveiled, and the blogs to be bloggerded. If you feel a slight sense of nausea, close your eyes and the feeling will pass. Now brace yourself as you enter the Eye of the Liger...