What a great ‘F’-ing weekend.

The past F-ing weekend was wonderful, I fully enjoyed Friday, Flag Day, and Fathers Day.


Friday – I had the day off work, so I slept in. Woke up, made some breakfast, cleaned the dishes and the rest of the house, and fixed the screen door.
Later, Marcel and I were having some issues with each other, so we went to the driving range and hit some golf balls to take out our aggression. We would envision the balls were actually the balls of the other person, which made it kind of gross to ‘tee up’, but really satisfying to smash with a golf club. We would yell at the balls as we hit them, things like, ‘why don’t you pick up your dirty socks!’, or ‘Why do I always have to feed the dog’, or ‘I wish you were a better roommate’, or ‘I wish you wouldn’t sneak into my room at night while I am sleeping, and pee in my laundry basket, and then dump the urine soaked laundry all over me!’. It was nice to get those things off our chest.
After that we played some church league softball. We had to use this extra soft softball, so the men wouldn’t hit home runs as often. Just as everyone started complaining about not being able to hit the ball very far, I came up to bat. Bases loaded, two outs. Someone on the other team yelled to the right-fielder, ‘move back’, which I thought was a complement to my hitting skills, but then I thought that they were making fun of me, cuz I hadn’t hit it very far all night, so that person was really in my head now. Just as the ball is lobbed at me, I forget what everyone is saying, and smash an inside-the-park Grand Slam over the outfielders head. Also, I had a skinned knee at the time, so it was extra impressive.


Flag Day – I started the day by paying homage to the US flag, thinking about it, drawing pictures of it, waving it, etc. Then I thought maybe this day is about all flags. So I thought about all the flags of the world, how colorful they are, how some are different shapes and sizes, I drew pictures of some of them, and I made a plain white flag that represents all the flags of the universe, even the ones that I don’t know what they look like, and I said a pledge to this flag.
“I pledge allegiance to all the flags,
Of the entire history of the universe,
One flag represents them all,
It is white, rectangular, and made from a pillow-case for all”


Father’s Day – This Father’s day I didn’t get anything for my father, I just kept putting it off until it was too late, and then I was too embarrassed/forgetful to even tell him happy Father’s Day. It was going terribly. I went home and was going to call my dad and pathetically tell him happy Father’s Day over the phone, but all of a sudden I realized that Father’s Day is next weekend!! So is Flag Day! So is Friday!

This is great news, now I can relive all my great moments from last weekend, like hitting a grand slam, and celebrating flags in all their glory, and this time, I will be prepared for Father’s Day. This is going to be just like the movie ‘Groundhog Day’ featuring Bill Murray, except instead it will be called “The same F-ing weekend”, and instead of Bill Murray, it will be me, and instead of the groundhog it will be Marcel.

this is gonna be a great F-ing weekend!!!