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Sunday, October 25, 2009

You say "Tomato"... I say "Tomato Tomato Tomato Tomato Tomato"

One day a young man named Jason was trouncing about and ventured upon old farmer Craig's tomato patch. Old man Craig was notorious for hurling rotten tomatoes and insults at anyone caught trespassing on his property. Therefore Jason tiptoed cautiously about the tomato vines. Alas, Jason's cautiousness was ineffective against the scent-smelling guard dog extrordinaire Tucker. Tucker galloped gallantly toward the now pants-pooping Jason. With a ripe tomato in his palms, he was now caught red-handed.
Much to his surprise, Jason was not assaulted verbally or vegetably, but he was subjected to a punishment far, far worse than anything his large grotesquely intellectual brain could have fathomed! Old man Craig instead enslaved Jason as his personal slave/chef/sexy-sex-toy, and the worst part was Craig force-fed Jason his
own terrible cooking creation.
The cooking creation was craftilly concocted carefully, considering creepy craig was caressing his cortex. Jason had only a few meager ingredients, most of which were tomatoes from the tomato patch. He was forced to create a five-star meal out of little more than tomatoes, his beautiful creativity developed this wonderful meal.
Recipe:
1 Tomato
1 Tomato (slightly larger)
1 Tomato (slightly larger yet)
1 Tomato (even larger)
1 Tomato (quite large)
Cheese (shredded)
Cheese (cottaged)
Cream (soured)
Bacon (fried)
Instructions: Cook Tomato. Cover with something. Stuff it in another tomato. Repeat 4 times. Take all the tomato guts and grind them up and cook them into a delicious sauce. Pour Sauce over the stuffed Tomatoes.
Note: Each tomato must be cooked in a unique way.

Instructions

Ingredients (enough for 3 stuffed tomatoes)

Microwaving

Boiling

Grilling

Frying

Baking

Guts

Sauce

Finished

Old man Craig loved the meal, and granted Jason his freedom. Unfortunately, Jason was forced to eat 3 bites of the meal and became violently ill. He will probably never eat a tomato ever again... because he died.